Self love seems to be a tricky topic these days, right? What with all the opinions and definitions on what it is or isn't. Fret not, beautiful one. Read on for five easy peasy ways to step up your self love game right NOW.
Radical Self Acceptance
Spend a couple of moments thinking about yourself. How you look, how you feel, the choices you've made today, the interactions you've had, anything and everything that comes to mind. Now with loving, compassionate, openness, accept all of it. Accept yourself 100% for everything you are AND everything you are not. You can also spend time looking at yourself in the mirror (clothing optional) and saying "You are beautiful, you are strong, you are important, you matter, and you're perfect just the way you are". Feel free to say whatever feels right and trust your higher self to bring forth the right words to you.
Self Directed Compassion
Often, we have no problem displaying compassion for others. But when it comes to ourselves? Mmm... not so much. Self directed compassion is one of the most powerful healing tools and a beautiful way to cultivate self love. Try it on for size by thinking of a time when you were embarrassed, ashamed, sad or simply operating in an ego driven (read: low vibrational) frequency. It doesn't matter how long ago it was, and it could even be in this exact moment. Now go ahead and intentionally send yourself compassion. You could visualize hugging yourself, you could play out a conversation between your two selves in which the compassionate you says "I'm sorry, I'm here for you, don't worry". Again, decide what this looks and sounds like for you.
Since self directed compassion can involve a lot of imagination, it may take practice before it feels natural for you. Just focus on truly tapping in with the mission - allow yourself to "go there". Another thing to note is that this technique can be very triggering so make sure you're in a safe space to express your true self and feelings.
Keeping Self Talk In Check
Self talk is another powerful tool we can use in our self love journey. The mind is obviously brilliant and this can be to our advantage or detriment depending on how we harness its power. Self talk is like belief programming so we want to be sure our "coding" reinforces the message that we are capable, deserving, loved, and important. When your inner dialog is kind, loving, and encouraging, it instantly boosts your sense of self, leading to a better attitude, which ultimately creates better external circumstances.
Really be mindful of the things you say to yourself. Sometimes these messages are so natural that we don't even notice them or think they don't hold value. Here are some examples of things you may say and what a more loving alternative would be.
Spend the next hour or two monitoring your self talk and thoughts. Make a conscious effort to do this practice daily and it will become a habit.
Do what feels good
Think about someone you care about, doing something that makes them happy - the joy on their face, the excitement in their eyes. How does it make you feel? Pretty good, right?
Give yourself permission to feel the same way about what brings you joy. Doing more of what makes you feel good sends the message that you deserve to feel joy and what you value, matters.
Taking ownership of your joy is also an empowering, practical demonstration of self love. You aren't waiting for permission to experience joy and, more importantly, you aren't letting anyone else define what it means for you.
What plans can you make over the next day or two to have fun and do something you really enjoy within the next couple of weeks?
Nothing says self love or self worth like having boundaries! Having boundaries gives you an opportunity to once again have increased ownership in your life. By knowing what your boundaries are, you set the precedents for your life, relationships, and role in society.
Having and enforcing boundaries leads to stronger personal autonomy which in turn boosts self confidence. It's subtle but important that we can trust ourselves to have our own back.
By the way, boundaries aren't only for others, setting boundaries for ourselves (AKA discipline) makes space for even more sovereignty.
When you are creating and living the life of your dreams (filled with ALL forms of love) you are in a constant calibration process. That calibration process is a lot easier with boundaries! Spend a few moments reflecting on where you stand with your personal boundaries. Could you use a little fine tuning? Be more confident in your boundaries? For more information on building and preserving boundaries, check out this article over at PsychCentral.
Be Blessed, Beautiful!